A week ago today, as the sunlight flooded the delivery room, our sweet little boy was welcomed into this world and was laid on my chest. I will never forget that day. Just like the details from welcoming Audrey and welcoming George, these memories have been eternally written on my heart. There are only a handful of moments like that in a life time; moments where no matter the complexity of the emotions that are tied up in the details, joy overwhelms. It is magical to welcome a baby. It, for a brief moment, makes you forget all the pregnancy aches and pains. You forget the infertility struggles and all the emotional battles that were fought in the process of waiting for that moment. When you see your child for the first time, you hear their little cry, and you are instantly and profoundly in love. In that moment, those seconds, all the anxiety of the world is gone and it’s just you and the tiny human that your body grew.
I didn’t know what to expect when I got to finally lay eyes on this little boy. Would it be joyful with a little sorrow? Would there be tears? Would he look like his brother, and if so, what would my heart do? And in the perfectly laid out plan of my Good Father, none of those things mattered. It was just me and my little boy. And as he laid there on my chest, I reached over to Adam and just smiled. We did it, with all the sustaining grace of our Heavenly Father, we survived a third pregnancy - a pregnancy after the most devastating loss - and our son was here.
One day I will write down all the details of Harry’s birthday and all the emotions that have been swirling around, but for now, I’m just so thrilled to be able to introduce him to the world. Our perfect, almost 8 pound, little man and littlest brother. His sister is over the moon. She has been the best big helper and her adoration for this tiny human is gut wrenchingly wonderful. The day we came home from the hospital, as her and I were sitting on the couch and she was holding Harry, in the most organic way, she began to tell her baby brother about his big brother George. And in that moment, my heart melted. Because instead of intense grief over the little boy that isn’t here, I felt intense joy. I listened to my oldest tell my youngest about our family of 5. Thank you Jesus for that sweet gift on what could have been a very hard day.
Welcome to the world, Harry Beau. You are the perfect addition to our family and you are so very, very loved.
