In a year that is only 21 days old, it seems as if the comedy of errors that was the theme of 2020 is going to continue… for how long? Long enough to make even the strongest feeble. Or so it seems. If there is one thing that I learned in 2020, it was that nothing is truly in my control and that when the world around me seems to be a spinning tornado, careless of what lies in its path or what it gathers in its cyclone talons, the only left is to drop to my knees. I am not always the best about intentional prayer. I feel as if I narrate my day to God, giving Him my thoughts and my fears, my worries, my excitements, all in real time - sometimes silently as I drive to school drop off, listening to Audrey ramble on about something; sometimes out loud in exasperation or in the most intense of joys. But how often do I find myself humbly coming before the throne of the Almighty, with intentional and purposeful prayer? Whether the ridiculous amount of nonsense that filled 2020 was specifically so God could teach me to get on my knees more frequently or not, is yet to be determined. I apologize if that is the case. But nonetheless, here I am, in more desperate need of that intentional and humbling conversation with my Father.
Audrey’s kindergarten teacher had a heart attack today. Yup. You read that correctly. My mind is spinning and my heart is racing. These poor children. They have been through so much this year and have taken it all in with such grace and resilience; something that we should not take for granted, but instead be acutely aware of God’s faithfulness and provision. It came as an email. One that you would never expect from your head of school. One that makes your heart sink. Then when you’ve caught your breath, it sinks just a little bit more. We will now have both of her precious teachers in our prayers. Both for their health.
When your 5 year old can list breast cancer and heart attack on her prayer list, you can see how it could feel overwhelming. Like Satan is swirling the gates of that precious school, just waiting for the OK from God to rip apart the faith of the young souls that have been entrusted to its care. Now, more than ever, we must pray for our little ones. And not just because illness is devastating and we adore Audrey’s teachers, but because the mind’s of our children are still being molded and in the midst of a pandemic (among other things), I don’t want to see her become discouraged or disappointed in the Good God that she serves.
It was a great task to keep my emotions in check as we discussed what happened today and what she can expect over the next couple weeks. We have experienced so much loss in these last several years, that my heart can barely stand the thought of someone we admire and adore so much having to go through this; yet I don’t want to worry or frighten her. I want to be honest with her. I want to share the depths of my heart and the fears that I will turn over to God. But I don’t want to frighten her. So I will pray. I will pray for Mrs. G and Mrs. K. I will pray for our sweet Audrey. I will pray for the school that we have come to love and cherish. For the protection of those teachers that have become Audrey’s heroes. For the staff that will be filling the hole while her teacher regains her health. For satan to be told to get the heck out of here. Would you join me?
