Well, the holiday season is officially upon us, whether I’m ready for it or not. It’s always hard to set my thanksgiving table and know there are people missing. It’s hard to decorate the tree with Audrey and not miss the terrible twos that should be adding to the chaos of this season. And most of all, it’s hard to admit that this baby might actually come home. So with a little help (push) from Adam’s mom, who was visiting for Thanksgiving, we went to the store and indulged in one of the more fun parts of being pregnant again: designing and implementing a nursery. First step, a place for this precious babe to sleep. Crib, check.
This baby boy of ours is growing and thriving in his womb home. His tiny little kicks are both adorable and horrible at the same time. {Why does he always kick my bladder?!} I’m thankful for the reassurance of his life in those tiny movements. I’m thankful for the easing of my anxiety in these last few weeks since our ultrasound. I still have days where I can’t fully imagine a reality where we bring home another baby, but overall the joy and anticipation of welcoming Harry Beau home is at the forefront. I’m thankful for the immense gift of optimism from those around me; those who aren’t in the depths of PAL and can remind me that this baby is a different baby, a different pregnancy, and can (will) have a different outcome.
I remember asking God about his timing in all of this. After all, it took us a long time to conceive this precious babe, and his due date is so near to his big sister’s birthday, that there’s a real possibility they could share one. I wondered what the possible best was for me when I would be pregnant through my son’s should be third birthday. I still don’t quite know or understand why this was the timeline he laid out for me and for Harry Beau, but what I can say I’ve learned is this: Advent hit with absolute perfection. Reflecting on the waiting and the anticipation of Christmas and all that we have to celebrate because of Jesus’ life, has been such a gift as I find myself in the waiting and anticipation of bringing this new baby home.
I know we still have about half of this pregnancy to go, but I’m looking forward to the bits and pieces that make up these final months. Working out the nursery details. Buying baby gear. Readying our home (to match our hearts) to house a baby - its been a long time since we were in that stage. Its going to go by in the blink of an eye. Even if the days are long, the weeks and months will be fast, and this precious baby of ours will be snuggled up in our arms before we know it. My little corn cob will be a full size baby so very soon!
Photo by Eric Prouzet on Unsplash