I’ve spent the last several days staring at my computer screen, trying to get out words that make some sort of sense; that match in some way, the huge spectrum of emotions I am feeling since our anatomy scan last week. I start a sentence and then another. I jump to a different emotion and wonder if I need to finish that last thought? Or at least sort of try to complete it? It seems a bullet list might resonate more with the jumble of thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head. I think what I’ve landed on, is a letter to my second son. 

Harry Beau McGough,

What a gift it is to know you! Even after only a few months with you, you fit perfectly into our family; even with all of the unknowns of how that plays out once you join us on the outside of that comfy womb you call home. Last week, honestly the last few months, was long and terrifying. Your daddy and I couldn’t shake the feelings of what might happen if you too, like your big brother, didn’t get to come home with us. Thankfully, we have a good God who has ordained your every breath - of which I pray you have many! He saw to it that we all, you included, were and are covered in prayer. Prayers for your healthy and perfect body. Prayers for our anxious hearts. Prayers for the emotions that encircle us as we prepare to bring home a baby boy. Prayers that you would feel God’s love as deeply as possible and that you would know how much we have longed for you, prayed for you, and cannot wait for you. 

You, my son, are perfectly formed. The Bible tells us that we are made in Gods image and those blurry gray pictures on the ultrasound screen couldn’t have been more assuring of that fact about you. It was such a relief to see healthy kidneys, a vibrantly beating heart, and perfect little fingers and toes. Your little squished face was the sweetest, too. You’ve got about 20 more weeks of growing to do, and right now that seems like forever, but the wait for you will seem non existent when the doctor places you on my chest. We still have lots of praying to do over these next few weeks and months, but our first milestone has been passed and we are so excited about your future. 

Your big brother didn’t get to experience our love in the way we had hoped. It was so hard to hold him and say good bye. I’m having a rough time processing the fact that you’ll never meet him. I’m sure you would have just adored him. Not that you won’t feel the same about your big sister (who by the way, has 20 weeks to come to terms with you being a brother and not a sister), but she isn’t the same as a big brother. She will be a great big sister though! Maybe a little bossy... but overall she is going to smother you with all of the love that she’s been holding onto for so long. I hope you’re ready for that; all that love. Because it’s big and loud and wonderful. And she’s been waiting a long time to hug you and tickle you and play peek-a-boo. {she promises not to scare you} You, my dear Harry, are no normal baby brother, and Audrey Nole is no normal big sister. Your brother changed things with his life, and now your sister and you get to live in this story with a brother in heaven. I can’t wait to listen to your conversations about him... because Audrey Nole has lots to say about her middle brother. 

So, my boy, here is to the final half of our journey to meeting you. May you continue to grow stronger and healthier. May your lungs get big and your heart beat perfectly. May you feel and know the love of your family and the unconditional, reckless, perfect love of your Father in heaven. 20 more weeks, sweet boy. 20 more weeks. 

We love you so, 

Mama & Daddy (and your big siblings, Audrey & George) 

The Sixth Day

And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, land crawlers, and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so. God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that crawls upon the earth according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness, to rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, and over all the earth itself and every creature that crawls upon it.”

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth.”

Then God said, “Behold, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit contains seed. They will be yours for food. And to every beast of the earth and every bird of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth—everything that has the breath of life in it—I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.

And God looked upon all that He had made, and indeed, it was very good. 

And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

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